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‘In God We Trust’

Posted: May 27, 2009 9:09 p.m.
Updated: May 28, 2009 4:55 a.m.
I think Mayor Ferry may have misspoken during the City Council deliberation regarding the "In God We Trust" campaign.

When he stated: "We are elected to represent the people," I believe what he really meant to say is, "We are elected to represent these people."

To truly represent those people the City Council should man up and enact, at a minimum, the following:

1. Run the city as a theocracy, just like in Iran.

2. Prohibit entry and residency to all nonbelievers, as they are most certainly not welcome.

3. Change the name of the city to The Holy City of Santa Clarita.

4. Require all residents to obey biblical laws: like no eating shrimp, crab, lobster or pork; no adultery; no homosexuality, etc.
5. Mandatory attendance at a monotheistic religious facility.

And what's with plastering "In God We Trust" only on the city logo? A logo? Like Coke or Pepsi? I am sure the omnipresent divinity in the sky is not into branding.

What's next? "God Lite, tastes great, less filling?" Or how about "plop, plop, fizz, fizz - oh, what a belief it is!"

If the City Council does not have the backbone to impose these types of holy-roller reforms, allow me to propose the following alternative slogan: "In God (or Allah or Jehovah or Krishna or Yaweh or Zeus or Nothing) We Trust."

I also find Mayor Ferry's comment that he didn't want "this to become a religious issue" a bit bizarre.

How can the issue of attempting to - as Councilman Kellar describes it, getting the city and country to get back to their faith-based backgrounds - not be a religious issue?

Anyway, as one of my Hindu friends likes to say, "May the gods bless America!"


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