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Brian Baker: OMG! My feelings are hurt! Kill the First Amendment!

Posted: June 25, 2015 5:02 p.m.
Updated: June 26, 2015 2:00 a.m.
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We’ve all heard the buzzwords, the new encyclical of the Left.

If they can’t respond to logical rebuttals to their policy proposals and hysterical pronouncements — which they can’t, because subscribing to Leftist doctrine requires a complete suspension of logical thinking and any realistic understanding of basic human nature — then their only alternative is to try to completely shut down the debate.

We’ve heard it ad nauseam, starting with Al Gore’s polemic on “global warming” as presented in his Power-Point-cum-Movie “An Inconvenient Truth”: the assertion that “The debate is over.”

Of course, if nothing else, the basic flaw in that statement is clearly obvious: here we are, 20 years later, still actually debating the “undebatable.”

But lately we’ve gone from the ridiculous to the sublime. So let’s have some fun and look at a sampling of the latest buzzwords rambling down the pike, as well as in the opinion columns of your local Leftist PR sheet.

“Microaggression.” Totally cool word, meaning that something you said made someone somewhere feel that they weren’t appreciated in the way they themselves thought they should be.

If you think that same-sex marriage isn’t the best thing since self-rising bread, well, that’s a microaggression against LGBTSMwhatevercomesnext people!

You need to be at least silenced, if not punished and banished, or at least “shamed.”

Which, of course, brings us to our next gem, “shaming.” If you violate Leftist doctrine, as defined at this point in time (and always subject to whatever latest trend comes roaring down the pike) and can’t be sued or prosecuted for actually violating a real law, well, then, you must be singled out for hyperbolic and (usually) hysterical personal attacks in order to “shame” you into complying with the latest fad in Leftist Political Correctness.

“Dog whistle” enjoys not only convenience, but greatness, if you’re on the Left. It’s really a catch-all, because it signifies that whatever someone who’s not on the Leftist plantation says that might not conform to the “approved” doctrine of the moment — for example, “tax reform” — can always be labeled as actually meaning something else (usually much to the proposer’s surprise).

“Tax reform” was labeled as being a “coded racial appeal” in outlets such as Salon and Kos, as well as by established commentators like Bill Moyers.

This is obviously a tactic based on the interpreter’s incredibly amazing ability to read other peoples’ minds, very much along the lines of Johnny Carson’s “Carnack the Magnificent” character.

And it’s extremely useful, because if your conservative opponent hasn’t actually said what you want him to mean, well, that’s no longer a problem. Is it?

“Voter ID.” That seems pretty straightforward, doesn’t it?

When I first registered to vote I was given a voter ID card, which identified me as a legally registered voter, and I had to show it to the poll watchers whenever I showed up to actually cast a vote. I even still have it.

Alas, “voter ID” has turned into a “dog whistle” for “minority vote suppression.”

I don’t know how that happened. Everyone has to show some legitimate form of ID to get a book from the library, drive a car, get on an airplane, cash a check, file for disability or welfare benefits, cross an international border (unless you’re an “undocumented immigrant,” formerly known as “illegal alien”), and a whole bunch of other things.

Presumably, minorities — AKA “people of color” — aren’t any more inconvenienced by getting ID cards than anyone else.

So how come it’s only “minorities” — AKA the Leftists’ presumed voter base — who can’t perform such a simple task?

Anyone with half an ounce of intellectual consistency would realize that the Leftists are the real “racists” in this equation for advancing the preposterous idea that simply because someone is “of color,” he or she can’t do the same tasks as everyone else. I mean, c’mon. Isn’t that the very basis of racism?

“Free speech zone.” An absolutely hilarious concept. If you’re a student on a college campus and you’re “exposed” to thought, speech, or ideas that make you feel “uncomfortable” or “threatened” or are “microaggressions,” well, no problem.

All you have to do is report the “transgressor” to a counselor or other college official, and that person will make sure the “offender” and his or her repugnant and “intolerant” ideas are banished to a “free speech zone,” which is usually an area about the size of a “smart car” hidden behind the furthest reaches of the back parking lot.

Which brings us to the definition of “Tolerance.” But n-a-a-a-ah. You get the idea.

Brian Baker is a Saugus resident.

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