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My New Hangout

Posted: August 13, 2016 2:00 a.m.
Updated: August 13, 2016 2:00 a.m.
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Yesterday I went shopping at Macy’s with no less than 10 coupons clutched in my hand. The store is close by and I’m not really a shopper.

I told myself I wasn’t leaving the store until I found a pair of dress shoes. The reason being, I was going to a very fancy gala and would be visiting my son whom I hadn’t seen in over a year. Therefore, the adventure of flying to Washington, D.C., and attending the Grand Embassy Ball with my son and daughter-in-law was a bit overwhelming. The reason I hadn’t seen my son for so long: he was in Afghanistan. Sorry, no mothers allowed.

I’m giving you a little background so that you can sympathize with my predicament.

I would like to say the term “narrow shoe size” does not exist in this town. Nevertheless, I persevered. The young sales lady was sooo patient with me. When I explained my dilemma, she became even more attentive to my special needs.

It was a toss-up between two lovely pairs of shoes, rather pricey but what the heck, I hadn’t bought dress shoes in over 10 years. I know nothing of the newer styles except that I don’t like them.

There was a sweet lady sitting next to me trying on shoes. She was lamenting that her feet were very wide and she would give anything on earth for my long slender ones.

Wow, that certainly perked me up. She helped me decide upon a pair of classy shoes, if I do say so. The sales lady painstakingly pointed out they were one and a half size too small. Details.” They were the last pair of this model, so I snatched them up. Besides, I had been in the shoe department over an hour bending, trying on so many pairs that I was seeing stars.

After receiving the lovely compliment about my slender feet, I figured it was an unbiased opinion. I was now charged up and moving forward in making the right decisions.

Next, the ladies sportswear department for tee shirts. Since I’m now a resident of California, it has become my official uniform.

I brought in at least fifteen tee shirts for trying on. There is no limit because you are on your own. I probably could have spent the night there in a pile of clothes and not been discovered.

I stepped outside of my dressing room searching for a three-way mirror. This woman was standing in the aisle in front of me. I asked her opinion if the shirt made me look fat? Most important question of all, did it cover my butt? I was wearing my constant companion: ever-ready black slacks.

She replied – and I quote – “What butt? You have none, you have a perfect body, be happy.” God love her. Did I mention she had a patch covering one eye and was wearing dark glasses?

The lady then called her daughter in the next changing room for her honest opinion. Out she came smiling at me, one front tooth was missing and so help me she weighed at least 350 pounds. The girl replied that I looked terrific! “I have always counted on the kindness of strangers.”

Guess what, I’ve found my new hangout whenever I’m feeling low and out of sorts. Only the next time I come, I think I’ll bring along a sandwich and stay awhile. No salesperson will ever drop by – trust me, you’re on your own in a special private dressing room.

I can try on as many clothes as I can carry, and it would be really nice if the mother and daughter made another trip to the fitting room. I would sincerely try and help the daughter find something that made her feel skinny.

Now when I try on clothes, looking in the mirror I think, “Hey, not bad for an old broad!”

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