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Steve Lunetta: Old enemies will help reach new victories

Right About Now

Posted: August 20, 2012 2:00 a.m.
Updated: August 20, 2012 2:00 a.m.

I hate Shane Victorino. Always have. From 2006 through this year, Victorino was the veritable heart and soul of the evil and despicable Philadelphia Phillies.

My feelings only intensified when, in a game against the Dodgers, Victorino was moved back off the plate with a high inside pitch. He went on a ludicrous three-minute tirade yelling at the Dodger pitcher that he should not throw at his head. His buttocks was OK, but not his head.

That is the game, Shane. The Big Boys will throw ’em high and tight. If you don’t like it, duck. For years, the image of Victorino pointing at his head and then his rear have been seared into our collective conscience.

But now, I have a problem. The Dodgers acquired Victorino for a couple minor leaguers in an astounding fire-sale trade from the Marlins and stuck him in left field. He also bats leadoff. What is a good Victorino hater to do? Our Dodgers now depend on this guy.

Part of me is now starting to like him. I am ashamed to admit it, but I do. The thought of Victorino being the spark plug of the Boys in Blue is very appealing and holds great promise for the future.

I am now starting to feel that way about our vice president, Joe Biden. Good ‘ol Joe. Temperate and well-mannered Joe. The Joe of wisdom and prudence. The Joe that can be counted on to find just the right words.

A few days ago in Danville, Va., Biden was addressing a group that was roughly half black. He was discussing how Romney’s policies would allow banks to “write their own rules” and it would be “Wall Street unchained.” Fair enough. Good ol’ Joe can voice his own opinions no matter how uninformed or short-sighted.

However, Biden went on to infer that the GOP (in a veiled Southern drawl) is “going to put y’all back in chains.”

I’ll wait for all of you to pick up your chins off the floor. Yes, this is the man that would be the leader of the free world if Barack Obama was not able to perform the duties of president.

Biden has the audacity to claim that Republicans would re-enslave black people. I’m trying to remember the political party of the president that freed the slaves — what was his name? Lincoln? Oh, yeah. a Republican.

I have always been shocked and dismayed about the selection of this man by President Obama as the second most powerful man in the world. A man who makes George W. Bush look like a rocket scientist.

However, I am beginning to warm up to him. After all, the more he talks, the stronger the Republican case becomes to elect Mitt Romney as president.

Think about it. Who would you rather have in the No. 2 chair? A man who talks about the re-enslavement of black folks or a man who created a bipartisan plan to save our nation financially and restore greatness to our republic?

Would you rather have a man who opens his mouth and insults world leaders and entire racial groups, or a man who is a proven leader that can build bridges and get things done?

I sincerely hope that President Obama keeps ‘ol Joe as his running mate. Considering how loyal Mr. Obama is to his friends, I think there is a very high probability that Biden will stay on the ticket. Then, the Democrats will have the Sarah Palin scenario only in reverse.

Biden will be the loose cannon and the firebrand. The press, looking for good sound bites and finding nothing with Congressman Paul Ryan, R-Wis., will gravitate to the Biden campaign and find rich yet inane comments that will captivate the evening news.

The Obama people will attempt to silence Biden, but he will become even more vocal, contributing to the downfall of the administration.

It will be glorious and wonderful. Another person who I detested will find a warm and generous area in my heart to reside. I may even move Victorino over and sit Biden right beside him.

Go Shane! Go Joe! My cup truly runneth over in new-found joy and happiness.

Steve Lunetta is a resident of Santa Clarita and just bought his first Victorino fan shirt. Ugh. He can be reached at


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