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How to win a big award in Hollywood

Posted: January 30, 2009 9:00 p.m.
Updated: January 31, 2009 4:55 a.m.

Wow! Now is the time for the big Hollywood awards. And the best way to get a big Hollywood award is to commit homosexual acts on the big screen.

If you don't get the award for the movie you committed the homosexual acts in, they will remember how wonderful you were in committing the homosexual acts in your previous movies, and boy, do they love you.

It's not acting when you kiss another person of the same sex on the mouth, and use your tongue, or rub your genitals against another person of the same sex's posterior; it is a homosexual act.

Some of the actors are better known for doing homosexual acts on the screen then for being a good actor.
Let us not forget one famous host who did one of the big award shows. I paraphrase: There are 500 million people watching this program, and they all think everyone in Hollywood is homosexual.

Now that is funny stuff. (By the way, they don't seem to want him back.)

It is no surprise that some of those who have done these homosexual acts on the big screen, so as to get their all-so-important awards, have gone on to become drug addicts and even commit suicide.

One thing I've always wondered about is if they could only have the award or the money, which would they take? I'm sure it would be the award - not.

After all they are artists, right?


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